I recently wrote about the the main reasons for breakups, which you can read here, and I said one of the uses for that information was to initiate a breakup. I’m going to go a little further on that. If you’ve been conditioned by your partner to believe that by breaking up with them you’re “giving up” or that “no reason will be good enough”, then I hope that I can help you toss those abusive lies to the side and do what you need to do be happy.
Now, I have to tell you something if you’re planning to breakup with some. No matter how you do it, they will probably experience pain at some point. If they don’t, that’s great, yet the more probable thing is that they will. However, this shouldn’t deter you. If you are in a relationship that is making your life significantly worse than if you weren’t in it, then you should leave. You are a lot more resilient than you think you are and there is empirical evidence to bolster that statement.
By breaking up with someone who is causing you significant distress, you are giving up on something that is bad for you. Just like you would take your hand off of a hot surface. You are preventing further damage to yourself. There are also SO many reasons which are good enough. The eight that I wrote about previously are all good enough. Yet, if you really can’t find a reason, here’s one that is good enough: I’m not happy. That’s it. If something is causing you to be unhappy to such an extent that you want to cut it out of your life, that is good enough. You don’t need to provide an essay with coherent reasoning about why you want to end the relationship, you just need to utter those words. If the other person doesn’t want to accept that – that’s their problem. You can always break-up for now and give yourself time to understand the why and then tell them if they really want closure. It’s easier to do these things in hindsight.
This post was intended for those that might feel trapped in a relationship and want out. Those that have been emotionally abused and have been told what to think. Please, use this if you are really struggling and are desperate. If you can explain how you feel using more specific reasons then please do, it’s good to give the other person closure. You don’t need to explain why you feel like you do to them, you just need to say it’s how you feel and then leave. A lot of people try to stop breakups when they are in the middle of happening so if you feel like you’ll crumble because of that, feel free to say how you feel, end it, and go.